The Five Types of Authentic Wants: A Science-Based Guide to Recognizing Your True Desires

Do you ever feel like you're chasing goals that leave you empty? Like you're climbing a ladder only to realize it's leaning against the wrong wall? You're not alone. Research shows that 87% of people pursue "should wants" rather than authentic desires, leading to success without satisfaction.

The truth is, authentic wants fall into five distinct categories, each with unique body signals and emotional signatures. Understanding these types and learning to recognize them in your own system is the key to building a life that energizes rather than exhausts you.

What Are Authentic Wants vs. Should Wants?

Before diving into the five types, let's clarify the crucial difference:

Should Wants come from:

• External expectations

• Social conditioning

• Fear of judgment

• Comparison to others

• Past programming

Authentic Wants emerge from:

• Internal knowing

• Body wisdom

• Emotional truth

• Soul alignment

• Present-moment clarity

Neuroscience research from UCLA shows authentic wants activate multiple brain regions simultaneously—creating what researchers call "neural coherence." This is why authentic desires energize you while should-wants deplete you.

The Science Behind Recognizing Authentic Wants

Dr. Antonio Damasio's somatic marker hypothesis reveals that our bodies signal authentic desires through physical sensations before our conscious minds even register them. These "somatic markers" are your internal GPS for authentic wanting.

Additionally, HeartMath Institute research demonstrates that authentic desires create heart-brain coherence—a measurable state where your heart rhythm, breathing, and brainwaves synchronize. This is why authentic wants feel like a "full-body yes."

Now let's explore the five types and their unique signatures.

Type 1: Creation Wants - The Drive to Bring Something New Into Being

What They Are:

Creation wants are the desire to birth something that doesn't yet exist—whether that's a baby, a business, a book, or a garden. These wants tap into our fundamental human drive to create and leave a legacy.

Body Signals:

• Tingling sensation in hands or entire body

• Rushing energy that feels like electricity

• Chest expansion with rapid heartbeat

• Restlessness that's energizing, not anxious

• Physical pull forward like being magnetized

Emotional Signature:

Creation wants carry a unique blend of excitement mixed with sacred fear. This isn't anxiety—it's the recognition that you're approaching something significant. You might feel:

• Exhilaration alongside vulnerability

• Anticipation with healthy nervousness

• Joy mixed with "who am I to do this?"

• Aliveness with edge-of-growth sensation

How to Recognize Them:

• You can't stop thinking about the creation

• You feel physically pulled toward it

• Fear doesn't stop you; it clarifies importance

• Energy increases when you imagine creating

• You're willing to sacrifice for it

Common Examples:

• Starting a business or nonprofit

• Writing a book or creating art

• Having or adopting a child

• Launching a podcast or course

• Building a community or movement

• Designing a new way of living

The Shadow Side:

When creation wants are suppressed, they often transform into:

• Chronic dissatisfaction

• Jealousy of others' creations

• Physical symptoms (especially reproductive/digestive)

• Compulsive consuming instead of creating

Type 2: Connection Wants - The Yearning for Deeper Bonds

What They Are:

Connection wants reflect our biological need for meaningful relationships. These aren't just social desires—they're about soul-level bonds that reflect and expand who we are.

Body Signals:

• Warmth in chest like internal sunshine

• Softening throughout body, especially shoulders

• Open sensation in heart area

• Relaxed breathing that naturally deepens

• Gentle pull toward others

Emotional Signature:

Connection wants blend vulnerability with longing. This combination feels like:

• Tender openness with slight fear

• Deep yearning with hope

• Sweetness mixed with risk

• Expansion with exposure

How to Recognize Them:

• You feel incomplete without deeper bonds

• Surface relationships feel exhausting

• Your body relaxes around certain people

• You crave meaningful conversations

• Loneliness feels more about depth than company

Common Examples:

• Seeking romantic partnership

• Deepening existing friendships

• Finding "your people" or tribe

• Healing family relationships

• Building chosen family

• Creating intimacy in marriage

• Joining spiritual community

The Shadow Side:

Unmet connection wants often become:

• Chronic loneliness despite being surrounded

• Addiction to social media for false connection

• Codependency or relationship addiction

• Settling for toxic relationships

• Physical isolation and withdrawal

Type 3: Contribution Wants - The Call to Make a Difference

What They Are:

Contribution wants stem from our need for meaning and purpose. They're about using your gifts in service of something greater than yourself.

Body Signals:

• Upward lifting sensation like being pulled skyward

• Expansion in upper chest and throat

• Energy surge when discussing the contribution

• Straightened spine and lifted head

• Warmth spreading from heart outward

Emotional Signature:

Contribution wants mix meaning with urgency. You experience:

• Purpose meeting passion

• Significance with time-sensitivity

• Fulfillment with fire

• Calling with commitment

How to Recognize Them:

• You feel angry about specific injustices

• Certain problems feel personally assigned to you

• Your skills feel meant for something specific

• Time feels wasted not contributing

• Success without service feels hollow

Common Examples:

• Career pivot to helping profession

• Volunteering for causes you care about

• Mentoring others in your expertise

• Creating solutions to problems you've faced

• Teaching or training others

• Activism or advocacy work

• Using business for social good

The Shadow Side:

Suppressed contribution wants create:

• Existential emptiness

• Resentment at "meaningless" work

• Depression from unexpressed purpose

• Guilt about unused gifts

• Cynicism about making a difference

Type 4: Experience Wants - The Hunger for Aliveness

What They Are:

Experience wants are about fully tasting life. They're not about checking boxes but about expanding your felt sense of being alive.

Body Signals:

• Full-body aliveness like every cell awakening

• Increased sensory awareness

• Energetic bubbling throughout system

• Heightened presence in the moment

• Physical readiness to move/explore

Emotional Signature:

Experience wants blend joy with freedom. This feels like:

• Childlike wonder with adult capability

• Playfulness meeting possibility

• Liberation with delight

• Adventure with abandon

How to Recognize Them:

• You feel caged by routine

• Your body craves novel sensations

• Bucket lists feel too limiting

• You want to FEEL life, not just live it

• Safety feels like slow death

Common Examples:

• Travel to places that call you

• Learning skills for joy (not resume)

• Physical adventures and challenges

• Sensory experiences (food, art, nature)

• Sexual exploration and expansion

• Festival and gathering attendance

• Saying yes to invitations that scare/excite you

The Shadow Side:

Denied experience wants become:

• Numbing through substances/screens

• Living vicariously through others

• Bitterness about "boring" life

• Midlife crisis behaviors

• Chronic FOMO and comparison

Type 5: Evolution Wants - The Deep Call to Become

What They Are:

Evolution wants are about becoming who you're meant to be. They're the deepest form of want—not about doing or having, but about being.

Body Signals:

• Deep settling combined with reaching sensation

• Groundedness with growth feeling

• Spaciousness in chest and belly

• Aligned sensation through spine

• Quiet certainty in bones

Emotional Signature:

Evolution wants blend peace with growth. This paradox feels like:

• Calm with calling

• Acceptance with aspiration

• Stillness with movement

• Being with becoming

How to Recognize Them:

• Current self feels like old clothes

• You sense a "next version" waiting

• Growth feels inevitable, not optional

• Old patterns feel physically uncomfortable

• You're willing to let go to become

Common Examples:

• Spiritual development practices

• Therapy or deep healing work

• Sobriety or recovery journeys

• Identity transitions

• Healing generational patterns

• Consciousness expansion

• Embracing authentic self

• Major life transitions

The Shadow Side:

Resisted evolution wants create:

• Feeling stuck in old versions

• Existential anxiety

• Physical symptoms of "growing pains"

• Relationship conflicts from misalignment

• Deep sense of living someone else's life

How to Work with Your Authentic Wants

1. Daily Body Scan Practice

Spend 5 minutes daily scanning for expansion/contraction signals. Which wants create physical opening? Which create closing?

2. Emotional Archaeology

Journal about what emotions arise with different wants. Fear + excitement usually signals authenticity. Fear + dread signals should-wants.

3. The 90-Second Rule

When you identify a want, feel it fully for 90 seconds. Authentic wants grow stronger; should-wants dissipate.

4. Track Your Energy

Notice: Do your wants energize or deplete you? Authentic wants create sustainable energy; should-wants require forcing.

5. Start Small

Choose one authentic want from one category. Take one tiny action toward it. Notice how different it feels from forced action.

The Integration Effect

When you align with authentic wants:

• Energy increases naturally

• Decisions become clearer

• Resistance decreases significantly

• Support appears unexpectedly

• Life feels meaningful

Remember: You might have wants in all five categories, or feel strongly pulled toward just one or two. There's no right configuration, only what's authentic for you.

Your Authentic Want Awaits

Stop asking "What should I want?" Start asking "What does my body say yes to?" Your authentic wants aren't hiding. They're broadcasting through every cell, waiting for you to listen.

The life you're meant to live isn't built from shoulds. It's built from the deep, body-centered knowing of what makes you come alive.

Which type of authentic want is calling you today?

Feel without apology. Change without permission. Build without limits.