Feel Your Feelings: Embrace Emotional Acceptance

People will go to extraordinary lengths to avoid their feelings. They'll employ distractions such as overeating, overdrinking, and bingeing everything from reels to tv series to video games. They'll avoid important conversations and even stop talking to friends and loved ones. They'll chase accolades and accomplishments just to stop that bad feeling from creeping in. Whether it's as simple as doubt and regret or as heavy as failure, shame, and grief, humans will do just about anything to avoid feeling bad.

When we look at our heroes, we undoubtedly think they don't feel bad feelings. How could they? They have fame, fortune, and accolades; how could they possibly feel bad?

What we don't see is that it isn't that our inventors, leaders, and athletes never feel bad; it's that they don't let it hold them back. They accept that sometimes they are going to fail. Feel regret. Or grieve for a loved one. Those among us who are truly happy, understand that to really feel the exhilaration, joy, and peace in our lives, we must also feel the 'bad' feelings, too. We don't get to pick and choose what reaches us. When we decide to numb our feelings through excess work or play, we also miss out on the moments of love and joy that make it all worthwhile.

Acceptance is a big part of emotional maturity. Learning that all feelings are temporary, no matter how good or bad, gives us the courage to push on. When we learn that no matter how much we love our family, our job, or our life there are still going to be bad feelings along the way, we can accept them instead of running from them.

We waste so much of our precious time running from feelings. By not having important conversations, we miss out on connecting more with our loved ones. By overindulging, we lower our quality of life and spend resources that could better be spent enjoying our lives. And by refusing to examine our deepest fears, we continue to function on autopilot, subject to the unfathomable whims of our subconscious.

When we are willing to accept our negative feelings, we can explore where they originated from. As we discover, many come from sources that are no longer relevant in our current lives. We can begin to heal and move on from the unnecessary pain we've been living with. We become more naturally resilient when new hurts arrive because we know that we are strong enough to survive the feeling and that it too shall pass.

Feeling your emotions doesn't make you weak or unable to do hard things. It's quite the opposite really. Instead of projecting your pain as anger on those around you, you can empathize and understand what the other people in your life might be feeling. Through your connection with others, you'll understand that you are not alone in your pain and even lean on the people in your life. Or let them lean on you. Empathy as a leader builds strong connections that can only take you and your family or your team further in life.

The first step to building the life you want to live is feeling your feelings. You must first be willing to face those negative emotions. Only then can you decide what to do about them.